First Words
by Foam Robot
Summary: Arthur is quite sad because his home has been blown to smithereens, I know, you know, we all know, he bangs on about it enough. Can ford cheer him up? No, no, this is not slash
1. Chapter 1

'You stupid thing!' abruptly yelled Arthur at which point the crew of the Heart of gold stopped what they we're doing, drinking, eating, or in Zaphods case, licking a space which was once occupied by Trillian..

'Hey baby, where'd you go?' Zaphod slurred and pushed Marvin out of the occupied space.

'No one loves me' Marvin said as he dropped his head to the floor.  
'You stupid, stupid thing!' Arthur yelled again, while learning that his foot was no challenge for the the Nutrimatic Drinks Dispenser, again.

'I give up!' He used the machine as a support as he let gravity do its job as he rested his head between his hands. At this point the rest of the ship continued to do, drink, eat or in Zaphods case, lick a surprisingly tasty piece of metal. Apart from Ford who decided it was best to assist Arthur, even if it did mean missing out on an new unusual delicacy.  
'What's wrong?' Ford asked as he sat down next to Arthur.

'What do you think is bloody wrong?! My plan-'Arthur was interrupted.  
'Planet was blown up, my house was destroyed, I don't belong anywhere' Everyone and thing on the heart of gold sighed

'You people, and things, don't even understand! I don't belong! I don't understand you, I especially don't understand him' He unenthusiastically pointed over to Zaphod.  
'Hey, Andrew, you've gotta try this shit' Zaphod slurred. Marvin was not impressed, in fact Marvin wasn't anything. He never felt anything.  
'My names Arthur!' He shouted

'Okay man, if your going to have a hissy fit why don't you just go home.'  
'I don't have a home!!!' He shouted frustratedly at the top of his lungs. Ford winced.  
'Okay, okay, it's okay Arthur, I've just found something that might cheer you up.'

Ford led Arthur out of the room.

'Jese, what's that guys problem' Zaphod asked to no one in particular before resuming licking.  
'I couldn't possibly imagine' Marvin sarcastically responded as his interface reacted with the saliva. 'Ouch' he droned.


	2. Chapter 2

'What exactly are we doing here?' Arthur asked. The room was damp and dark and smelled oddly of those foam bits you get inside cheap novelty pencil cases. 'It smells awful in here'

'Hang on, hang on,' Fords muffled voice came from under boxes as he threw miscellaneous stuff and rubbish limbo out of the way.

The guide states '_Miscellaneous stuff and Rubbish Limbo may appear similar but are two entirely different entities. Miscellaneous stuff can be defined by: Objects that are found out of their usual location, examples: Ice cream in the fridge, car keys in the video player, books used as table legs or to hold up one side of a bed, or overly friendly text messages on a partner's phone from the opposite gender. And Rubbish limbo can be defined by: Various seemingly random objects grouped together in one a place, these objects usually include expired cards, electrical plugs and their receipts, unwrapped sweets, hair brushes, unworking pens,5 year old Christmas cracker toys, marbles, pencil sharpeners( but no pencils), rubber bands, batteries and broken headphones. These things can be usually found in a kitchen draw or a coffee mug by the telephone._

'This better be good, I can hardly breathe in here' Ford did a little more rummaging before pronouncing he'f found what he was looking lifted up a heavy box with a groan and put it on a table which was held up by about five miscellaneous stuffs.  
'What is it?' Arthur queried

'All in good time' Ford replied.  
'Can it make me tea?' Arthur asked.  
'No'  
'Can it take me home?'

'Not exactly'

'Can it bring my home back?' Arthur gleamed

'Erm, kind of- well' Arthur got is hopes up 'erm, no' and they were shattered, just like his mother used to warn him. She was dead now anyway, with the rest of his home, all gone, dead. Arthur felt sad, then angry, then sad and angry and finally numb again.

'Oh' he sighed.  
'Don't worry Arthur' Ford reassured him 'You're going to love it! Come one, lets bring this to somewhere where I can see what I'm doing with it' Ford lifted up the heavy box again and he and Arthur headed towards the doors, as usual they were more than happy to open for them. Arthur looked back into the room confused before the doors closed.

'Arthur, what's wrong?' Asked Ford

'What earth is that table been balanced on?' Arthur asked still confused and frowning.

'Car keys and ice cream'

'Oh,' Arthur replied, still confused and frowning.


End file.
